Relationships

This week, I celebrated 18 years of marriage. My marriage is an adult! What does the adult look like? When we think of adult, we assume someone who acts rationally, who knows the difference between right and wrong. Yet, we all know someone who is struggling or someone who is not happy or satisfied with their situation.

Being an adult comes with responsibility and decision making. But what happens when these decisions are taken out of our hands.  We see and hear about toxic relationships, how controlling behaviour limits the person to make their own decisions.  As we know there are always two sides to a story. It is when we truly listen to a person can we identify with their situation.  We see over time cracks can develop in relationships; this can sometimes happen when change occurs. When one or two people respond differently these can cause underlying issues. One of my clients found themselves in a predicament because they disagreed on whether to send their child to private school or not.  They could not foresee this problem. Both parents were thinking about what they wanted and not what was best for their child.  Thankfully they were able to come to an agreement.  However, it does not always end amicably.

People do not always response to change in a positive manner. If you have differing opinions, that invariable puts pressure on the relationship.

The greatest relationship you can have is with yourself. Understanding your thoughts, desires and feelings can be incredibly powerful.

I circle back to the opening statement " This week, I celebrated 18 years of marriage. My marriage is an "adult"! I reflect on what makes our marriage work. Why am I still with the same partner? Simply, commitment. We are parents, we are professionals, occasionally lovers. ultimately , we respect each other and have common ground.

I think the next 18 years will take us on a very different path. Yes, we will still be parents, our role will significantly change. You can understand why couples reevaluate their relationships.

I wonder what makes your relationship work?"